Answering a few questions - June 28, 2010 (continued)
was all of those and more. I think a part of that is the speed at which time flies and a grasping to slow things down before it's over. That's why people take pictures or write journals on websites, an attempt to freeze time so that in the future you can look back at the past. The past provides comfort along with regrets but most of us look back fondly at the way things used to be.
It is an odd then that despite often looking wistfully at the past, we spend so much time looking to the future. We start each work or school week on Monday, pulling ourselves out of bed, thinking about the past weekend and looking forward to the next. Each day we either look forward to payday, the next long weekend, upcoming vacations, Christmas and of course the goal of all employed people, retirement. If we don't look forward we think about past fun weekends or prior Christmas's.
One of the areas of my life that I am going to purposefully set out to change is to try and live in the present. It is extremely difficult and something I have failed at my entire life. As I am preparing to leave Bermuda I find I am spending a lot of time thinking about my years here, the people I met and the things I enjoyed. I am very sad to leave such a beautiful place full of wonderful people, particularly those at work on Team 7. One of my best friends is Jean Howes a lady that I met in 2001 at our church in Bermuda. She has been blind since childhood and I have spent Saturday afternoons for the last 3 years walking her dog Quana. Her friend Maria will be printing off my journal entries and reading them to her as I progress. I also promised her that I would purchase a cell phone and will call her periodically throughout my trip. The cell phone number will be posted, under the Contact tab.
It's impossible not to think about the past when you are about to leave friends and family behind but I want to try and forget regrets and past heartbreaks. I am leaving a few missed opportunities behind in Bermuda and have a heavy heart as I prepare to leave but hope more will open up in the future. You have to have hope that you are doing the right thing despite the feeling of doubt. It is the hardest thing I have to do as I prepare to leave.
I will also do my best to resist the temptation of looking ahead. Its fun to anticipate and make provisions but I want to enjoy the present. Travelling on a bicycle forces you to focus on today because you literally do not know what is around the corner. I have no reservations for accommodation nor will I make any, travelling is fun when you are spontaneous and left to your ingenuity and people's kindness to find food and places to sleep.
I have no idea what I will do when my trip ends and for the first time in my life the future is wide open. It's scary and exciting and all I can do is move forward, one pedal at a time. Prior Journal Update Here
Preparation:
